I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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