It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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