Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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