god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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