it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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