After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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