...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
