Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
