My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
