Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
