Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
