I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
