hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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