Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize