I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize