I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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