Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
