I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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