I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
