I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
