idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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