but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize