You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
