Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
