He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
