You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize