I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
