there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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