Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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