your thong is hanging out like whoa
My hand turned me down
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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