people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
