I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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