I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
