seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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