it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
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Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
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There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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