She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
