ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
