Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
OPIZZABONMYDICK
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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