Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
