A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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