Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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