your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize