My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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