I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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