I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
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