So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
