so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
