Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Dicks are not precious.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
