Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
This baby is an asshole
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
