he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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