I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him