Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(507): View more from Minnesota

As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.

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(660): View more from Missouri

I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(704): View more from North Carolina

What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?

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(859): View more from Kentucky

in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?

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(712): View more from Iowa

I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.

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