I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts