Texts From Last Night

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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.

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  (337): Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again. http://tfl.nu/uobp
  Replies (17) Good night (3856) Bad night (1015)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.

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  (952): Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover. http://tfl.nu/sdyg
  Replies (15) Good night (4076) Bad night (1228)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.

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  (320): A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears. http://tfl.nu/pw7m
  Replies (41) Good night (2510) Bad night (5334)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better

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  (902): Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better http://tfl.nu/2vo6
  Replies (4) Good night (935) Bad night (3860)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first

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  (902): Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first http://tfl.nu/v8bw
  Replies (11) Good night (4747) Bad night (1202)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina

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  (402): Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina http://tfl.nu/fhci
  Replies (11) Good night (2957) Bad night (726)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..

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  (215): i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be.. http://tfl.nu/8j64
  Replies (2) Good night (828) Bad night (1325)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.

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  (901): I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off. http://tfl.nu/oaek
  Replies (6) Good night (1510) Bad night (613)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor

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  (780): i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor http://tfl.nu/zkix
  Replies (3) Good night (1045) Bad night (557)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook

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  (585): Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook http://tfl.nu/4sfp
  Replies (6) Good night (1614) Bad night (588)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances

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  (775): He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances http://tfl.nu/ldl8
  Replies (14) Good night (671) Bad night (998)
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  (347): View more from New York

  My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted

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  (347): My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted http://tfl.nu/iwx2
  Replies (4) Good night (1861) Bad night (490)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?

  (512): View more from Texas

  Won't she run out of nose eventually?

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  (254): She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually? (512): Won't she run out of nose eventually? http://tfl.nu/f0dc
  Replies (3) Good night (642) Bad night (732)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Can I chase this vodka with an onion?

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  (303): Can I chase this vodka with an onion? http://tfl.nu/o1n7
  Replies (3) Good night (268) Bad night (533)
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  (510): View more from California

  Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?

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  (510): Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"? http://tfl.nu/kfgm
  Replies (3) Good night (363) Bad night (205)

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