Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
My ATM looks so different sober.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
