I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
