So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
