I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
