why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
