it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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