If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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